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Note: This is an excerpt from a forthcoming book:
The Flower Essences of Fox Mountain:
a Guide to Self-healing, Recovery, and Reconnecting to Earth, Soul and Spirit.
Sometimes changes or a crisis in a friend's life or in the friendship challenge us
to grow, give or love in unfamiliar or uncomfortable ways. We may need to develop skills
or tolerance to deal with an illness, limitation or other unpleasant situation.
We may need to open our minds and hearts to new levels of awareness, closeness, commitment
or compassion. We may need to give in unprecedented ways. We always have a choice of
whether or not to stay in a friendship. When we have to change and grow in order to stay,
life can challenge us with no obvious return for our efforts. Flower essences can bring
clarity and self-awareness to the situation.
Here are some possibilities from
Flower Essences of Fox Mountain.
Angelica -- angelic guidance and protection.
Angel's Trumpet -- making the leap into a new way of being.
Borage -- for courage and stability, especially under mental strain.
Campanula latifolia -- soothing, calming, healing under stress. Giving of our calm presence.
Emergency Relief -- for dealing with unexpected crises, or situations that are frightening or upsetting.
Holly -- understanding that we are connected, that what we do lovingly for another is as though we do it for ourselves. Overcomes resentment and jealousy.
Deep Pink Hollyhock -- faith and hope in the power of the loving heart.
Iris "Flight of the Butterflies" -- transcending our usual way of being in the world, connecting with transpersonal reality.
Six Irises -- bringing divine love and spirit into our actions and efforts.
Lady's Mantle -- connects us with the divine mother archetype within, giving us strength to nurture and comfort.
Six Lilacs -- restructuring ourselves as we grow and learn and stretch.
Mugwort -- to open ourselves to other dimensions of what is happening, respond intuitively.
New England Aster -- to raise our vibrational rate to integrate new energies into consciousness.
Penstemon -- for endurance during continuous challenge.
Phlox paniculata -- gathers spiritual energies and helpers to us as aids and assistants in our efforts.
Purple Bee Balm -- connect with the higher self; also for the higher selves of friends to work together.
Rose "Belle Story" -- brings the soul close to the heart to hear our inner story, to help us listen and be a part of our friend's story. Nothing is lost or wasted from the perspective of the soul.
Rose "Cerise Bouquet" -- lends us the serene perspective of the soul, where every experience is meaningful, and suffering is a profound lesson worth learning.
Summer Solstice -- for putting forth all of our efforts, giving our all.
Twelve Roses -- open to the soul and divine love on many levels.
Discomfort, Annoyance, Hurt Feelings, Jealousy
When an interaction, or something a friend has done or said seems hurtful or
bothersome, we can't be at peace with the relationship. When something in ourselves
is triggered in the friendship, something that needs our awareness or healing, we
are likely to feel uncomfortable until it is addressed. Sometimes we need to understand
why it bothered us before we clear the air. Sometimes we need to go to the friend for
clarity. Often there has been a misunderstanding or misinterpretation, but sometimes
the friend really has done something hurtful. In this case, we must ask for what we
need from a friend to restore trust.
Alyssum -- for awareness of our own projections.
Athena -- for clear thinking. Forming a strategy to solve problems.
Black Cohosh -- transforming betrayal, anger, jealousy, or hurt into opportunities to learn, understand, be loving and empowered.
Black-eyed Susan -- helps us see into our own blind spots, bring what's been ignored or buried into awareness.
Borage -- for hurt feelings, mental torture, courage. Connects with the indestructible spark within.
Boundaries -- to help clarify what is our "stuff" and what is our friends'. Helps us take responsibility for our own stuff.
Clematis -- staying in the present, alert to what we are feeling.
Comfrey -- healing all levels of hurts.
Daffodil "Ice Follies" -- heals the heart that feels blasted by another's words. Helps us speak truth from the heart.
Hyssop -- when guilt or fear of guilt interferes with clearing the air. Releases guilt.
Lobelia -- to soften blame and criticism, and address issues calmly, compassionately.
Master Yarrow -- healing damage to the subtle bodies from unpleasant or hurtful interactions. A compromised aura can let in negative energies and emotions that can be confusing as well as triggering our own past hurts.
Mauve Mullein -- clears the higher chakras of confusing emotions from the past, and those absorbed from others in the present.
Mullein -- honesty and integrity within ourselves. Finding the inner strength to be frank about our own needs as well as misdeeds.
Purple Mullein -- cleanses the higher chakras to see oneself and one's relationships with clarity.
Peony Red and Gold -- vitalizes the sense of yourself as being good in and of yourself, regardless of others.
Peony Double White -- loving ourselves and our friends unconditionally, from our souls, regardless of what is going on in the relationship.
Rose "Sarah van Fleet" -- when one is torn between differing views of reality, on the brink of a shift in perception or perspective that could change everything. Comfort and patience that all will be well.
Sage -- to learn from our mistakes.
Spiderwort -- for perspective. To see the patterns we've created in a relationship, that may be part of larger patterns in our lives. Helps to see what we pay attention to and what we overlook in ourselves and in our friends. Become aware of our unconscious reactions to others' behavior.
Star Chickweed -- clarity, focus. Honesty with ourselves.
Sunflower -- connect with a radiant sense of self and self-respect. Balances extremes of ego versus low self-esteem. Helpful for friends who make you feel high when you're together, but bottomed out when you're ignored.
Trauma Relief -- good before, during, and after a confrontation or other difficult interaction.
Moonshine Yarrow -- to break negative habits of relating, unhealthy cycles, unconscious reactions. Brings calm in the midst of upset.
White Bleeding Heart -- when hurt, disappointment, or betrayal makes us afraid that love is gone forever, we'll never be able to love again.
Moving On
Sometimes there is tension, discomfort or guilt because it is time for friends to move on,
leave the friendship behind. Perhaps each is growing in different directions, or one is
changing in ways the other does not understand, or cannot support. Especially with a very
old or very close friend, there can be sadness and reluctance to let go and
face what is happening. Yet holding on can create more problems and greater discomfort.
It may feel best to acknowledge the love and caring that remain as each go their separate ways.
Though it can feel hard in the present, this objective, compassionate approach may
minimize hurt feelings, resentment, regret and blame later on. Here are some essences -- both
single and blends -- to support
parting in a healthy and compassionate way.
Angelica -- loving sense of guidance for making decisions or acting on them.
Blackberry -- aligns the will with mind and heart.
Boundaries -- clarifying relationships emotionally and mentally.
Chamomile -- calms anxieties.
Clematis "Ernest Markham" -- to stay in the present, stay with one's resolve, not slip into the easy habits of the past.
Honeysuckle -- to release nostalgia, attachment to the past and the familiar.
Horseradish -- face the facts, let go, and move on.
Hyssop -- releases guilt.
Iris "Snow Queen" -- connects to a loving sense of eternal divinity within everyday life. Knowing you will always be spiritually connected no matter what.
Motivation -- will and energy to make necessary changes.
Pale Corydalis -- surrendering to the flow of life and growth.
Purple Loosestrife -- to release disappointment and move on in positive ways.
Queen Anne's Lace -- clarity and detachment from a relationship that feels confusing or fuzzy.
Release -- letting go.
Rose Red Climber -- connecting to one's own purpose, compassionately seeing what one must do for one's friend and oneself.
Rose "Belle Story" -- finding meaning for the friendship, placing it in loving spiritual perspective.
Tomato -- dissolving blocks to moving on.
White Foxglove -- letting go, moving through loss into a new sense of onself.
In completing this work with flower essences, you may also wish to look at other
relationships in your lives. Do you or your friend often have problems like this with others?
Or do you only have problems with this friend? Whatever happens, flower essences can help us
let go of the past, learn from the experience, and not hold onto hurt, doubt, or blame.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ziporah Hildebrandt began working with flower essences
in 1979. An
award-winning children's book author, her writing has appeared in numerous
publications including The Flower
Speaks; Parenting from the Heart; Herb Quarterly; Nutrition Science
News;
and Her Words: Poetry About the Great Goddess. She is available for
telephone consultations at 413-259-1874, or see
www.astroessence.com.
This page is a creation of Donna Cunningham's Word
of Mouth Web Design, a service that focuses on designing beautiful and unique sites to showcase the work of
lightworkers, artists, astrologers, and other practitioners of the healing arts. Graphic images
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The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.
  
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