Naturally, I was asked to write about my best essence friend! I AM, after all, one of Vibration's valued contributors -- a friend of this e-zine -- am I not, though I am an essence user rather than a maker or practitioner? What could I have written about other than my strange adventure with Water Violet, which I detailed in an article here several years back?

See, it started when some jerk -- er, I mean essence practitioner -- told me I needed Water Violet, for people who are too aloof and don't like to mix in with others or interfere in their affairs. At that time, I still isolated myself from the world, at the cost of an occasional attack of acute loneliness. Oh, when I read up on that remedy, if I were being honest with myself, I could relate to the description of the Water Violet type, though it unjustly accused me of snobbery. I was NOT a snob, just a recovering New Yorker trying to find some suitable friends here in the backwater.

Well, you can read about my adventures with Water Violet in the article, but since then I have continued to take a booster shot of that remedy each time the same issues come up. I have continued to let go of my separateness, little by little, as though God were prying it out of my tightly clenched fingers. Sometimes I think that things have gone too far and that I am probably going to need the opposite remedy, whatever that may be. My sister is concerned, too, at how I am changing. Recently I went to a baby shower -- my first in 45 years -- for a sweet young neighbor, and when I told my sister, she said, "Now you're starting to worry me!"

All kidding aside, I do treasure the evolution in my relationships that began with Water Violet, and so when Deb and Donna told me the theme of this issue, I started to ponder other essences that might be helpful for people who don't make friends easily. A few -- mostly by the Flower Essence Society (FES) -- came to mind. I wanted to share them -- not that evolved individuals like you and I need them, but you might know a few people who do.

Violet: Not at all the same plant as Water Violet, nonetheless this tiny, common blossom is related to shyness, especially about opening up and sharing themselves in group situations. Violet types are delicate and refined, and like the Water Violet type, may seem cool and aloof. Their reserve, however, hasn't the quality of feeling superior, instead they feel fragile, to the point of fearing they would lose their identity in closeness with others, the way a single noodle loses its identity in a bowl of noodles.

Heather: To HAVE a friend, you have to be willing to BE a friend, and my experience of Heather types is that they think it's all about them. They are high maintenance individuals who want continuous attention for their problems and woes and never think to give back. Their relationships are out of balance, and others wind up wanting to run when they see them coming. When they've made enough of a pest of themselves that everyone they know has caller ID on the phone, they wind up feeling abandoned. (In fact, thinking about it, Heather and Water Violet would be a match made in hell!)

Oregon Grape: Trust is an issue for this type, causing many of them to isolate themselves or to be uneasy in social situations. They anticipate ill-will from other people, and see the world as a hostile, harsh place. Often due to childhood trauma or parental conditioning, this paranoia about other's intentions can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, for their very suspiciousness can evoke suspicion in others and create distance.

Mallow: FES lists this remedy as specific to the issue of bringing more warmth into friendship and group situations. The lack of capacity to give and take easily can be due to childhood or cultural conditioning, and often correlates with a shut-down in the heart chakra. After taking Mallow, there is a more natural exchange of warmth and caring.

Shooting Star: These people feel isolated and alienated because they are not really at home on this earth. Many of them believe that they don't belong here, even conclude that they must not be earthlings at all, for they are rare and often highly evolved individuals who concern themselves with matters like extra-terrestrial life, other dimensions, and alternate realities. Vibrational healing in general is good for them, but Shooting Star helps to them to feel more at home on this planet and to begin looking for a network of like-minded souls.

Well, there you have it. I'm not clear about all the distinctions between the alienated people of various remedy types, so read the more detailed descriptions in the various remedy books before telling them which one they need. The hard part about getting them to take a remedy is explaining its use without making them feel judged. Fortunately, I'm not a practitioner -- and, being a Water Violet type, I DO have caller ID.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ivory Phoenix is the nom de plume of someone who for the past twenty years has been a devout user of vibrational healing tools like flower remedies, homeopathy, Reiki, and light work, and who -- despite all that -- has yet to reach perfection. Go figure.

The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.

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