As you may already have guessed, we have a lot of fun here at Vibration -- that's the true reason for its continued existence after eight years -- so we also like to have fun with the search engine reports. For instance, a few years back, we took to composing the Japanese poetry called haiku, based on the list of terms on the weekly list. See some examples and a more complete explanation of how our search engine works here. As a new diversion, we're now cobbling together newspaper headlines using only the site's search terms.

Okay, so it's drily amusing rather than rollicking. However, a recent search engine report really tickled our funny bone. Ranked #1 on the list for the week of June 20 was an enquiry about remedies for... constipation. We do get lots of casual browsers who confuse us with sites for herbal remedies and aromatherapy, so we thought maybe that's where the inquiries came from. However, MAYBE some of our own subscribers suffer from irregularity as well, and since we are nothing if not eager to meet our readers' needs, we debated via email what essences would bring relief. Naturally, we had a hard time staying all prim and proper and professional while deliberating such an earthy subject, so we wound up staging a mock panel on the subject with some of our frequent contributors.

(Editor Donna Cunningham says: It was really all Deborah's fault, I assure you! She's forever instigating trouble, while I try to rein her in. Or, just maybe the problem was that at the end of two months of work on this special issue, we'd both had just about all the Love and Light we could possibly handle!)

DEBORAH BIER suggested: "I think it's important to differentiate between the Chicory constipation and the Vervain constipation. The Vervain tends to be much more of a pain in the ass."

DONNA CUNNINGHAM agreed: "Yes, that's so true, but the Vervain is so much more difficult to detect. Given they are SO free with their opinions on everything, you'd think they were holding nothing back. But I've found that the reason many Vervains are so disagreeable is because they are often so constipated. The more fanatical, the worse the back-log."

Since Heather seems to be the "fleur du jour" for this issue, we asked CONNIE BARRETT to comment on why she thought Heather types might become constipated. She replied:
"It's very obvious why Heathers would be prone to constipation. First, they don't seem to be able to get outside of themselves, so it's reasonable to assume that their wastes would have the same difficulty. Secondly, and this may get more to the heart of the matter. Since Heathers prefer talking about themselves over any other subject, any physical disorder can give them this opportunity. Alternatively, we could propose that illness, in the very opposite state from constipation, floods those who are susceptible to Heather vibes. Imagine all the pharmacists they could ask what was the best constipation remedy. Think of all the doctors and alternative healers with whom they could talk about their problem. How many friends could they bore with their symptoms? This is Heather Heaven. Yours for complete expression, Connie."

IVORY PHOENIX could NOT resist chiming in, and as usual, her wisecracking contains considerable wisdom:
"For almost any blockage one encounters, it pays to begin with your type remedy -- that is, the flower essence or other vibrational remedy that most closely fits your personality type. Mine, as certain unkind individuals have rushed to point out, is Water Violet, the Bach remedy for capable, brainy, but rather aloof people who distance themselves from others. I seem to come back to that remedy time and again when I get too far removed from participation in the lives of my fellow man.

"I have to confess I was blocked at first from understanding how in the world that might relate to the bouts of constipation that seem to be on the upswing as I get older. However, I do note that I am more likely to suffer from it when I am out in public or visiting someone else. Perhaps that is because I would prefer that no one knows that my movements are as odiferous as those of ordinary mortals. If you aren't as regular as you'd like to be, figure out what your own type remedy is, and you might just get some movement in solving the problem."

JOYCE MASON comments: "The constipation conversation brought an immediate flashback to my childhood and my mother saying 'it'd take a stick of dynamite' to make me go. Guess I have always had an issue with control! I still gag thinking of all those yucky home remedies, like cod liver oil and the dreaded enemas. Flower remedies are so much sweeter! But I also feel it sort of makes me an expert in the field of being all bound up, as Mom used to say. Thankfully, that funomenon is in my past, not present.

"Here are some suggestions. Sagebrush by FES is great for letting go of everything from crap in your closets to -- er -- the real kind. Loosening the flow can be one of its side-effects. It aids cleansing and purification... and habit patterns. So if staying stuck is one of yours, think of Sagebrush, the remedy for emptying. Crab Apple by Bach, Healing Herbs, and others is also a great one for cleansing and feeling purified. There's nothing like making it literal! Supposedly good for fasting and other forms of physical purifying, it beats many alternatives for its gentleness. And lastly, if the problem is that you are pushing yourself so hard for work that you are unwilling to even take time for a bathroom break, you probably need Rock Water."

If you haven't decided to unsubscribe as yet -- and think you even might like another chuckle or two -- visit our Humor Booklet, a collection of articles from Vibration's archives which we found funny. Be warned, however, that we might well offend your sensibilities, and so if you are readily offended, either don't go there or else take a bottle of Vervain along!

That's it for this issue, folks. Love & light, y'hear!

Images from Clipart.com.

The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.

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