©2005 by Connie Barrett
In my travels through Ireland, one of the most beautiful sights I've
seen has been that of heather blooming. Its brilliant magenta hues
illuminate the neutral tones of a bog and make a striking contrast to
the many shades of green in a field. For those who need this flower
essence, it seems to create an inner brilliance to dissolve the darkness
of loneliness and need.
People who suffer the Heather imbalance often come from childhood
backgrounds in which their emotional needs for attention and affection
were never satisfied. Having been unable to find emotional gratification
at home, they learned to get attention wherever they could and continue
to do so.
Being so deprived of the love everyone needs and deserves, they never
discovered that they themselves could be the source of all the love they
could ever want. They never learned that through practicing a self-love
that neither boasted nor needed the reinforcement of others, they could
become magnets for those who were attracted to their quiet
self-appreciation.
The Center of Attention
In my counseling practice, it's always a challenge to tell clients that
they need this remedy, for the characteristics of the negative Heather
state do not usually make for well-liked people. In the chronic
condition they are the ones who must always have an audience, either to
tell you about their magnificent accomplishments or miserable woes.
Unsatisfied with monopolizing your ears, they will often invade your
psychic space, standing too close to you and perhaps grabbing you if you
look as if you're trying to escape.
It's very difficult for someone who needs Heather to be alone. In the
days before the Internet, they would prevent themselves from being truly
alone by getting on the telephone with anyone willing to listen to them.
Now chat rooms are available for the lonely, and they are easily
identifiable. They're the ones, who, disregarding the subject people are
chatting about, will try to change the subject to their problems or ask
for advice. Heather people can often be found in the doctor's office. While they
may not be sick, they take advantage of their captive audience.
For someone who needs Heather, negative attention is better than
none -- up to a point. What they, in their self-absorption, don't see is
that their friendships don't last and that people tend to gravitate
where they are not. All they know is that their needs for attention
aren't being met. Desperate, they increase their self-defeating attempts
to get what they want.
The Hidden Heather
Heather is one of the personalities people least want to be, but
for all personality types, there are degrees of expression.
For example, in a more introverted version of this state, people don't
speak excessively about themselves, but their inattention to others
indicates that they are as self-absorbed as the more active ones.
I also commonly find among my clients those who resist their need for
attention and emotional gratification. They will often respond with
anger to active Heather people, primarily because the latter exercise a
form of self-expression that they have denied themselves. If you find
yourself avoiding self-involved people, it may be a clue that you need
the remedy.
Heather is also common as a temporary condition. Psychotherapy, where
the idea is to talk about oneself, is heaven for Heathers, but it can
induce a temporary version of this condition in almost anyone.
We also all go through periods of crisis when we need to talk to people
about what's going on. For those who tend to resist being open about
their problems, this constitutes an emotional breakthrough, and I
wouldn't advise them to reach for Heather.
In the positive state, Heather manifests in the form of people who are
attentive and compassionate listeners. They know how it feels to be
lonely and needy of attention, and they give without reserve. They are
like the brilliant flower in the bog, a source of beauty and warmth.
Supportive Measures
I once heard this saying: "If you want to be interesting, be
interested." While everyone can benefit from practicing this principle,
it is of particular value to Heather people.
Learn to listen. Even if you don't start out being interested, if you
allow yourself to be open to another, you will become interested.
Learn to entertain yourself. Develop a hobby that can be experienced
while alone.
Discover the companionship of a good book.
Become a volunteer for a cause in which you believe. This is a
wonderful way to be with other people and be of service.
A lack of self-esteem often lurks beneath the Heather surface, and
Larch is the appropriate remedy.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Connie Barrett does flower essence counseling for people and pets, including
by email. For more about Connie's work and links to her previous articles
in Vibration, visit her
Frequent Contributor's Page.
ART CREDITS: Background treatment by Word of Mouth Web Design, based on a design by Deborah Bier. Center tile by Keltie
Photos from Photos.com and 3-D objects from Clipart.com. The photo of heather came from Electric Scotland,
which has more photos and a nice story about heather.
The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.
