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Dear Tabby: Things You’d Rather Your Cat Didn’t Know

Posted by admin on Apr 17, 2010

Vibration’s editors ruefully note: Along with blogs and websites all over, we’re celebrating National Humor Month.  As if it weren’t bad enough that Pansy Rose Pepperplant showed up, now she’s stirred up a formidable sometime staffer, Dear Tabby, a conceited, overbearing feline that haunts our offices at times and dispenses advice to her fellow felines.  You should hear the cat-er-wauling!

Dear Tabby,
I have been sitting here all day watching my person twist and turn herself into a tourniquet all in the name of yoga. Isn’t there an easier way to find inner peace? We used to cuddle together on the couch, but now, all she wants to do is practice, practice, practice! When she can’t seem to get the position just right, she tries it over and over and over. This repetitive tizzy is making me dizzy! Seems that she just can’t learn from her mistakes!

Not like us, eh? Of course, cats never make mistakes in the first place! Why doesn’t she just watch me? I can teach her to catch her tail! So, what are my options here, Tabby? I’m not a kitty without pity, but I’m at my wits end! What can I do to cat-ch her attention? Should I just continue to purr through my pain? Or is there an essence I can give my guardian that will help her find sanctuary while I keep my sanity!
Sigh-ned, Pitter Patty (Going Batty!)

Dear Pitter Pat,

Ahhhh… join me in a deep cleansing purr-eath. Now, isn’t that better? I know it can be just fur-ightening when humans find a new hobby, but there’s no need to be catty. I’ve got a plan that will creatively cat-apault your concerns and help your guardian untangle her tresses at the same time. She doesn’t need a cat-scan, or a trip to the Cat-skills, she’s just a purr-fectionist who wants to achieve nirvana. Bliss is what she seeks, and the Bach Flower Essences may be just what she needs to achieve it!

For that overwhelming drive toward purr-fection in her yoga purr-formance, Rock Water might be a thought; it will smooth the fur around her need to get it just right! And if her repetition seems a bit compulsive, then White Chestnut may do the trick to curb this cat-astrophe in the making. If she seems to be repeating the same mistake over and over, then Chestnut Bud will nip that snit forthwith!

And as for YOU my finicky friend… how about a cattitude check? I’d dip into a few drops of Beech to tempt your tolerance out of hiding. And if you find that you must continue to purr-t on a happy face through these trials, then Agrimony will help nudge that Cheshire grin a bit more toward sincerity. If all else is lost and you see your sanity sliding down a slippery slope, try to rustle up some Rescue Remedy to calm your calamity. In no time, you two will be cuddling together in your cat’s cradle, and you’ll have all you could possibly knead!
Tempestuously, Tabby

Dear Tabby,
HELP! My world is upside down! Every time I turn around, my person is experimenting with yet another “new” modality that she’s sure will be “the one!” With all the aromatherapists, massage therapists, Reiki Masters, acupuncturists and rolfers wandering through here, life’s become a carnival. Then there are the psychics and astrologers! She can’t seem to make up her mind about what she wants to do with her life, and instead of trusting her own intuition, she’d rather take the word of anyone and everyone else!

I think she and I just need some quality time together; I’m the best therapist there is… and my rates are FAR more reasonable! I remember the good old days when I was the center of her world! How can I get her to look within? To find the Tao of Meow and get the focus back on where it belongs — ME! OW!!!!!
Turbulently, Tessa

Dear Tessa, What a mess for Tess! Your life sounds like a cat-tle call of consciousness! While each of the modalities you mention has great merit, your person’s journey through the whole kitten-caboodle of cat-hartic fare seems to be a bit hurried! I’m sure it’s not purr-manent, but this chaos doesn’t particularly cat-er to the calm of a contemplative cat, so we need to cat-nip this in the bud!

The Bach Flower Essences can help her find the cat-egory purr-fect for her. Cerato will relieve her need to seek so much advice from others. And Scleranthus will help with the indecision she juggles among so many options. Centuary will keep her from being easily led, and Larch will purr-vide the self confidence to conduct her own research into these valuable therapies instead of allowing them to research HER. Finally, Wild Oat might be a good cat-ch for providing her the insight to seek her own path… Who knows, she may someday become a practitioner herself and you may be in the cat-bird seat of receipt!

And for you? Well, like all good kitties, you are certainly entitled to demand affection, but in the great litterbox of life, the world is, alas, not all about you! So try some Heather to expand your circle of affection beyond those nine lives you see staring back at you in the mirror each morning. And a bit of Chicory might nudge you to think of your companion human as more than just a petting machine! In no time at all, you two will be luxuriously lounging together on the massage table and life will, once again, be the Cat’s Pajamas!
Putting It Deli-cat-ely, Tabby

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dear Tabby is a feckless feline who learned that one of our authors, Kris Lecakes-Haley, was having tuna for lunch and moved right in. Tabby has somehow been convinced to earn her keep and, now that she’s learned how to type, is available to answer your pet’s questions. Click here to read the article in this edition of Vibration that Kris managed to write while Tabby was taking an extended nap.

The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies whose articles or comments appear on this blog, especially not Tabby.  What, do you think we’re crazy???

Articles are provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products described. Articles are not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment. All articles and comments offered by readers do not necessarily represent the views of Vibration Magazine — particularly in this case!

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