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Resilience After a Failure: Larch is For Optimism and Self-Confidence

Posted by admin on Oct 8, 2011

©7-11 by Sheryl Karas and Paul Hood, in Healing Communication News

One theme for us this year – and for lots of people — is the lesson in having things go wrong, not getting what you want, working really hard over a very long period of time only to be forced to do something else. The vast majority of people who have faced job loss, foreclosure, and downsizing were not at fault – and yet the inability for so many people to simply jump back in and put things back in order right away hits like a blow to the solar plexus, it dredges up issues of self-esteem.

manbroke-a2dFailure and the ease with which we get up again afterward has a lot to do with upbringing and societal conditioning. Wouldn’t it be great if we celebrated the failures as much as the colossal successes?

“Wow man! Did you see how badly you blew that one? That was awesome! I honestly don’t think you could do any worse if you were hogtied, blindfolded and completely unconscious.

“On a scale of one to ten that was negative fifteen. If my four year old kid painted a picture like that, I’d give him a time out. Listen, you need to go to the cemetery and dig up every artist who ever lived and make a personal apology to their lifeless bodies. Right on, man! Do another!”

Yes, that would be great. Because we’d never be afraid to try something for fear that we might fail. Because in the end it’s not about pass or fail anyway. As Jim Morrison once said, “No one here gets out alive.” So it’s all about how we choose to live our lives. Are we good to each other? Did we care? Did we try to do the right thing?

A reader of our last newsletter, about the value of failure and the possibilities that come from it, asked if I could write about flower essences in that same context. Now of course, it matters quite a bit whether we’re talking about a “failure” about to happen (OMG!), one in the process of happening (OMG! OMG! OMG!), or the aftermath when you’re looking at the rubble and trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces again.

For those OMG (oh my God) moments, nothing really beats Rescue Remedy. It helps you come back down into your body when you’re jumping out of your skin, calm down, and get grounded so you can be with what’s happening and respond appropriately.

But that’s not really what that article was all about. That article was about the aftermath of a disaster, when what you once counted on and maybe even took for granted is gone. How do you rise again and create what you need to move on?

manfails-a2dI’ve been musing on this a little on and off for a few days now when David Spangler’s latest email newsletter landed in my in-box. In it he talked about Hope with a big “H”. There are people in the Zen Buddhist community spreading the idea that “hope” is a dirty word, that it takes you away from the reality of what’s really happening in the present moment. I can understand the impulse behind that—being with the reality of what’s happening in the present does seem like a good idea. But this notion of hope being counter to spirituality has always rubbed me the wrong way. Apparently, it bothers David Spangler, too.

First he quoted Paul Gilding, former head of Greenpeace International and author of The Great Disruption: “Hope is not a question of personal philosophy. In the face of uncertainty, operating from a stance of hope is a strategic and practical response. It is a way of approaching the world. As environmental writer Professor David Orr said of it, ‘Hope is a verb with its sleeves rolled up.’”

Then Spangler goes on to say this: “In my language, hope opens doors that despair closes. Hope feeds the fires of imagination that despair dampens. Frankly, a ‘realistic’ acceptance of ‘the way things are’ rarely creates change or benefits humanity. The blessings of our world would not exist were it not for the power of hope which leads people to dare the unknown and make choices that open possibilities and explore potentials.”

larchcones-a2dHell, yeah! I agree. So I decided to look at what flower essence most embodies this sense of “we can do it!”—the tapping into hope and optimism for a positive outcome. And Larch is what came to mind.

Larch is for those whose self-confidence has been shaken to the core, for those who fear the future, who fear the worst is the most likely outcome, for those who expect failure to be the end result of any further effort they put in. That’s not the way to get up again and create a happy future. But the desire to keep from failing again and feeling the humiliation and lack of self-esteem this failure engendered has to be worked with somehow.

Somebody famous or not so famous who gets quoted a lot these days said: “Failing is only defeat if you don’t stand back up.” Larch is the flower essence I’d most recommend to help people do it. I use it in several of my flower essence aromatherapy formulas: Releasing Worry and Fear, Comfort and Joy, and Open-Hearted Loving.

See more of Sheryl’s articles in Vibration here: Flower Essences for Caregivers, by Sheryl Karas, M.A. and here: Vibration Magazine Blog » Blog Archive » Sagebrush Flower Essence

ABOUT THE AUTHORS: Sheryl Karas M.A. and Paul Hood have a joint spiritual counseling and healing practice, working singly and as a team to help their clients find their highest level of well-being in all aspects of life. (http://www.healingcommunication.com) Sheryl is also a flower essence practitioner and the creator of Mama Love flower essence aromatherapy formulas. (http://www.mamaloveproducts.com)

3 Comments »

Chris L:

I am really glad for this posting today. I was laid off 3 years ago and due to loss of income was forced to move in with my mother in NM and leave my home in CA. I have been through many interviews and still no job in my field. Have been using Larch off and on for last few months and will start to use it more consistently. Also have found White Chestnut helpful for the associated worrying that comes with loss of financial stability. Now all I need is a remedy to help me figure out what else I can do to make a living and get unstuck from the morass of unemployment. Blessings.

October 10th, 2011 | 1:14 am
Sheila:

For Chris L: Why not become a Flower Essence practitioner? Good luck to you!

Thanks for the Larch info. You’ve presented a different angle.

October 10th, 2011 | 5:04 am

In the late 1990’s, I used Larch remedy when I was changing careers and lifestyles, switching from a steady paycheck of a corporate office job to going it on my own as an astrologer and intuitive consultant (and now herbalist) via a detour of a custom crochet headwear business. The economy was supposedly better, but I must say that those things brought their own problems. Years ago, I was experiencing what everyone else seems to be experiencing now, and while today everyone understands people going through this, back then it seems no one understood, like I was speaking a foreign language (and in some ways maybe I was). I totally had feelings that perhaps I was “crazy” and should just give up and get another life-sucking corporate job, but Larch essence definitely gave me the feeling of not giving up and despite being scared, just going for it. It doesn’t alleviate fear so much as it just helps you place it in a more balanced and healthy perspective, which is to say that it does not hold power over you. Right now, perhaps we need Larch essence in our national water supply (and remove the fluoride and other dis-empowering stuff while we are at it, right)? Thanks once again Flower Essence Magazine for a most timely post!

October 10th, 2011 | 5:17 am