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 Editors' Note: This is the first installment of an occasional column about pet problems.
Are you having a problem with your pet? Would you like to have Dear Tabby offer some advice? Then please email us, having your PET state the problem from his/her point of view. Sorry, but Tabby can't answer all questions and is unable to answer directly outside of this column.
I'm a cat - Domestic Short Hair...as if that sort of thing matters. Why, I know some blue-blooded long-hairs who can't even keep their own coats clean and shiny! And they act like they're so superior....I could spit. Anyway, I'm having trouble training my humans. They just don't "get it": I want to go out, and then I want to come in -- what does it matter if it's 15 seconds later? They should be there at the moment my needs arise. I did have a hairball on their new rug less than 8 hours after they brought it home. But they should feel honored! And so what if I love my food this morning and hate the same food in the evening. I should have my choice of foods if I want to. I'M A CAT -- it's my nature. How I can I get them to be more accepting of their role as my servants?
Head Butts,
 Dear PJ, Oh those pesky humans! I empathize completely with your plight! What a cat-astrophe!! Let's see what we can do to make them more responsive to your very reasonable needs...
If by some chance we were talking about another cat.....certainly not you...who might be, oh, say...a bit demanding with, perhaps, a heightened level of expectation...Chicory would be an excellent choice to add as you nibble your kibble. It will help to garner the patience needed when those humans are too slow to feed you, groom you, pet you, acknowledge you, worship you....well, I could go on and on. If only all humans could be as purrfect as we are! And to nudge them toward understanding their true role in life -- being at your beck and call -- you might suggest Centuary, as it will help them to negotiate being so persistently imposed...er...I mean...depended upon. And one last thing before I go on my meowy way...next time those scruffy "blue-bloods" saunter by with their dingy coats? Offer them some Crab Apple. Even if they look scruffy, it will help them to feel better about themselves until they can slip some Centuary to their humans!
Whisker Lickin's,
Dear Tabby: I hate you cats. You drive me nuts and I wish you would all go away. I chase you and eat you for dinner in one bite! Grrrrrr.....
Can you give me some essences I can use to make the cat go away? And to make my humans stop punishing me? I do love them, but they don't make any sense.
Sniffing' attcha,
Dear Fido:
Things can get pretty confusing when new siblings join the family. The flower essence Walnut will help you better negotiate that change and your restored demeanor will bolster your family's faith in your previously treasured dog-matic approach to life! Add Holly to help with those feral feelings of anger and jealousy frequently associated with an expanding family. Finally, while we can be trying, your intolerance of us is a cat-astrophe waiting to happen! You may never be caught cat-napping together, but Beech will help you to at least tolerate your new kindred kitty. Most importantly, I am glad to hear that you still love your family and have decided not to be pet-ty. Be patient with them, Fido. After all, they're only human!
Your finicky friend,
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Dear Tabby:
You know, if they were on their toes (you know those useless little human appendages that can't climb, scratch or shred furniture??) your humans might offer you some Bach Flower Essences to compensate for their gross oversights regarding the undivided attention you so richly deserve. Cat-egorically speaking, to acknowledge that quirky kitty core competency to demand immediate and sustained attention at all times, they might add Heather to your cuisine routine! Heather will address all of those little idiosyncrasies that go along with the thankless job of being the cat who is simply acknowledging the fact that, indeed, "it IS all about me!" 
I'm a very tough dog -- a real dog's dog. And I don't like to have you cats around. The trouble is, my family has brought home a cat and it makes me fighting mad! I'm so angry I bark, nip, chew, growl and even poop on the floor! And my humans get mad at ME when I'M the one who's been offended by this...this...this CAT. I have a right to be mad...and how!
While your dogged approach to problem solving is commendable, there is currently no essence known to man or dog that acts as a cat-apult. Regrettably, no dog-gone essence exists either! But alas, I'm being catty.