When I first started thinking about essences and men's health, I
must admit I ran into a few roadblocks. First of all, while there are
many flower remedies primarily "for women," the number of essences
"for men" is surprisingly small. Indeed, most remedies are simply
"for people," regardless of gender. And in practice, even flowers
suited mostly for one gender can still find their uses with either
sex (I'll give an example below).
When it comes down to specific cases, nearly any remedy may be the key one.
Also, whenever you start talking about men and women, or
masculine/feminine, you invariably run into stereotypes that don't
hold water and can blind you to many healing possibilities.
Especially in these times when sex roles are becoming less rigid,
such generalities are often useless or even dangerous.
Despite these issues, which are too involved to go into here, let me share a few remedies that are useful for many men today.
In our culture, the opportunities for men to experience the emotional
life is still markedly less than for women. Men frequently are inept
and limited in the areas of expressing emotion and intimacy. It's
hard for us to open ourselves fully to another person and make a deep,
soul to soul contact with them. This can show not only as distance
or coldness in close relationships at a feeling level, but also
an aversion to physical expressions of intimacy. In the extreme,
touch and sexuality can be very frightening.
There's a lovely flower from Australia, known as Flannel Flower, that can address this shrinking back from contact with others. It helps a man become more comfortable with his feelings and with being close to another. A common use of Flannel Flower is for instances of sexual abuse as a child, which can teach one that physical touch is dangerous and threatening. We usually think of abuse victims as mostly girls, but a surprising number of boys have also been subjected to abuse. Flannel Flower can often help them feel at ease with love again.
Since a boy's first model of masculinity is his own father, the
father-son relationship is a crucial influence on his development.
Unfortunately, for many reasons, it's often an impoverished or
outright negative relationship. Ideally, the father's role is to help
you discover your role in the wider world, to develop a sense of
self-worth and a feeling of "the world is a safe place for me,"
and to find your own power and authority. All too often, the child is
left with a sense that the world is unsafe and threatening,
especially if the father is abusive and unpredictable (common when
alcoholism is involved).
The very similar remedies Red Helmet Orchid (Australian Bush) and
Baby Blue Eyes (FES) can address this deep-seated discomfort, allowing a person to "father" himself in the absence of a good relationship with his own father. Curiously, the remedies also work the other way, helping a father develop a deeper and more nurturing bond with his children when the demands of fatherhood are too great. Many families could benefit from
these remedies, contributing to a healthier society all around. (Editors' Note: For more about Australian Bush Essences and how they apply to men, as well as photos of some of these flowers, see the article by Marie Matthews.)
The flower essence Pomegranate (FES) seems like an unlikely remedy for men. Its traditional usage is for women who
are having trouble balancing the many feminine roles available,
such as the conflict between having a family and a career. Yet each
man has an "Inner Woman" in his psyche (known to Jungians as
the "anima"), just as each woman has an "inner man" (the "animus").
One young man came to me describing a conflict at the level of this "Inner Woman", a confusion over whether to express "her" simply as the power of sexual attraction to women or whether to explore her more "spiritual" dimensions. Both aspects are important functions of the anima. Just on a whim (I check out "vague whims" often in this work), I tested Pomegranate on him, on the notion that "she" was having trouble balancing feminine roles. I was quite surprised to find the remedy fit him very well in this situation. I guess this goes to show you shouldn't let preconceived ideas of sexual stereotypes blind you to non-obvious
uses of these essences, especially in "deep psyche" work.
(Editors' Note: Essences for Male and Female Archetypes, by Dirk Albrodt,
presents additional insights into these concepts and into Pomegranate.)
The range of essences available for men's healing is much greater than these short portraits can convey. I would encourage you to explore them further, particularly if the spiritual and mental aspects of healing appeal to you.Flower essences are simple and easy to use, even though they can take you deep into the mysteries of your being. They are a wonderful self-help tool, although I would heartily recommend seeing a professional consultant for more complicated situations. They literally are a gift of Life from the flowers to help us heal the "Wrongs of Living" that keep us from true health and happiness. To Life!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Martin Bulgerin has been practicing as a flower essence consultant since 1990 and has
helped hundreds of people through his sensitivity to human behavior and
the subtle energies of flowers. To see more about his work, his line of essences, and links to his articles that
have appeared in Vibration, visit his frequent contributor page.
In particular, for more insights into the present topic, read Flower Essences and Sexuality.
ART CREDITS: Images on this page include royalty-free photos at Photos.com
and Art Today
The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.
