When Laura was very young, she was curious about how everything worked.
If her mother was cooking in the kitchen, Laura wanted to help; if her
father was building something in the basement, she wanted to learn how.
Her most frequently repeated expression was, "Let me do it."
Although her parents tended to be impatient people without much desire
to teach her, they made half-hearted attempts. One day her mother let
her stir something on the stove, but the moment Laura caused liquid to
splash on the stove, her mother grabbed the spoon, saying, "Look what a
mess you made."
Her father let her help in a simple sanding project, but when she said
her hands hurt, he took the sandpaper away, saying, "See, this is no job
for you. Girls have delicate skin."
For a little while, she kept on asking to do things, but whenever she
tried, her parents pointed out--in some detail--her mistakes.
One day her mother asked, "Do you want to help me bake some cookies?"
Laura shook her head slowly, "No, it's all right, you do it."
Larch is about self-confidence, the ability to dare to believe that you
can create something and the confidence to begin, to continue, to
complete. Inherent in the unbalanced Larch condition is a fear of
failure. Rarely did this fear emerge overnight. Nor is it usually caused by
repeated failure. People who need this essence aren't those who try and
fail to manifest their dreams. They rarely try at all, being much more
likely to talk themselves out of a dream before it's begun. They are
genuinely convinced of their inability to do anything original, or even
challenging. They are mines of unrealized potential.
Taking a Deeper Look
This fear, like most fears, is acquired in childhood. The person in
need of Larch may have parents who themselves feared to fail and lived
cautious, conservative lives. They may have instilled this caution in
their children with such phrases as "Better safe than sorry" or "take
the straight and narrow path." If the child expresses even a faint
interest in some "off-beat" profession, the parents will quickly remind
him that nothing is more important than security.
To some extent, this attitude stems from the unique nature of human
infancy and childhood. We are born relatively helpless and take a fairly
long time to learn how to protect ourselves. Our parents, as guardians
of our safety, believing that they're protecting their children, try to
keep them from living more adventurous lives than they have done. Such a
parent may say, "I'm only thinking of your own good, and you'll never
make any money as an artist," or "she's a very nice girl, but too
different from you."
I'll Do It . . . You Do It
Alternatively, the Larch person may have highly successful parents
whose accomplishments have left her feeling defeated before she even
began. If these parents are also hypercritical, they may also stifle a
child's desire to learn new things with the fear of scorn or
humiliation.
No one is born worrying about failure. The repeated litany of every
child is "Let me do it." They want to ice the cake, stack the logs, and
open the bottle. If their natural enthusiasm is countered with, "Look,
you spilled it," "No, you did it wrong," they withdraw from the world of
exploration and become bystanders.
They bury the desire to experiment and test their abilities that is
part of the joy of being alive. They conclude, without jealousy, they
don't have something that others do. They accept limitations that don't
exist.
Milder and/or more specific cases of low self-esteem are very common.
You, for example, might be very confident that you can sing beautifully
or play a musical instrument, but when it comes to effectively using a
computer, you're sure that whatever you do that isn't in the
(hard-to-understand) manual will freeze the screen.
Many people experience a challenge to self-confidence when they begin
to tread an entirely new path. Because they've never done something
before, they are unsure about what will work and won't. They may
anticipate humiliation and failure.
Depending on how deep the feeling of low self-confidence is, Larch may
work gently or powerfully. In the positive Larch state, one acts, free
of inner obstacles to success. There is a general feeling of confidence
that comes with the reclaiming of one's innate abilities.
Supportive Measures
You have the ability. You do. You do. You do. Remind yourself of this
often.
Whatever your parents told you about yourself was their opinion. It
doesn't have to be yours. No one knows you like you do.
Start taking small risks. Learn something new once a week.
Learn something artistic, just for fun.
Catch yourself saying, "I could never do that." Stop saying that.
Make daily lists of at least ten things you appreciate about yourself
and daily lists of ten accomplishments. In the beginning, you may find
yourself writing the same things. As you go on, though, you will find
this is like flexing a muscle. You will find an expanded ability for
self-appreciation
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Connie Barrett does flower essence counseling for people and pets, including
by email. This article is from a book she wrote which accompanies her Bach Flower Remedies course. For more about Connie's work and links to her previous articles
in Vibration, visit her
Frequent Contributor's Page.
ART CREDITS: This page created by Donna Cunningham of Word of Mouth Web
Design
based on photos from Clipart.com.
The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.
