Flower Essence Journal - Vibration Magazine

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Practitioner's Corner: Knowing When We Cannot Help

PRACTITIONERS -- Want more instructional articles? See our Essence Practitioner Education Booklet.

flowers on the casketEditors' Note: We receive a LOT of email asking us to choose specific essences for people experiencing individual problems. We feel it would not be appropriate (or possible) for us to give treatment or recommend specific essences based upon such requests. As healthcare practitioners, we do our work carefully and conscientiously. One or more professional consultations are required for us to come up with anything meaningful to help a specific person. And often follow-up is advised.

While this type of care can be accomplished or facilitated via email in some cases, in others it is not appropriate. Take the instance of the email recieved below by one of our editors, Deborah Bier. As a professional counselor, she felt that an essence recommendation was not the most appropriate course for this woman who was in so much pain. At this time, supportive, in-person care was recommended, including modalities other than vibrational or flower essences.

death valley sand duneWe publish this corresondence here because we feel it's vital for practitioners to know when what they offer is inadequate to the situation. It is also meant to serve as an example of how to make a supportive referral for more appropriate help.

Dear Ms. Bier,
It would be good if you could help me. My mother died last Thurday in her mid-50s after a long illness. I fostered her during the last round, lived only for her, ate most of the time nearly nothing, and now, when she is dead, everything gets worse and worse instead of getting better. I am in a deep sadness.

I don't know how I can manage to appreciate my life in a nearly normal way, my thoughts are always with her, her death. I have the picture of her inside of me in the hospice when she died. I can't get free of it.

Do you have an idea how I can manage to get to a more normal daily life? What would be good to start with? Especially eating. At the moment, everything seems to be hopeless, it is a huge blankness in me.

hospice care Sincerely yours,
Karen

Dear Karen,
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.

You sound extremely depressed. And it seems like this has been going on throughout your mother's last illness, though it has gotten worse since her passing such a short time ago. I do not feel a recommendation for flower essences would be sufficient for you at this time.

Please know that you will not always feel this bad. Last Thursday is a very short time ago, and healing of grief takes time. It may not be possible for you to understand how this can be true right now, but you CAN feel better.

Because of the length and depth of this depression, I would recommend you immediately make an appointment to see a counselor or psychotherapist. You should not be trying to go through this without professional help. Consult your or your mother's physician for a referral. You should not delay. Ask a friend to help you to make sure you do this immediately.

death valley sand pyramid I also recommend you go see a homeopath for treatment -- there are marvelous homeopathic remedies for grief and loss which could be of enormous benefit to you. If the homeopath is a counselor or therapist, so much the better.

If your physician or therapist recommends prescription medication, I would also encourage you to use it. There are times when prescription drugs can be life-saving, and I believe you may be in just such a situation.

They may also recommend a support group for caregivers. This would also be appropriate. Talking with others who understand what you have gone through as your mother's caregiver could be helpful to you.

click to read or post to our message board about vibrational/flower essences The depression you are experiencing is quite treatable and not uncommon when anticipating or experiencing the loss of a loved one, but obviously it is very, very painful. The center of what was your life seems like it is now gone, and some people find it difficult to figure out how to go on from there. It is not uncommon, and you deserve help with it. Best to you.

Good luck,
Deborah Bier, M.Ed

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Deborah Bier, M.Ed. is Co-Editor, a frequent contributor to Vibration Magazine, and maker of Whole Energy Essences. For more information about her and for more of her articles, see here.

ART CREDITS: Art Today.

The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.
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