One in two marriages now ends in divorce, and since many people shut down their hearts after such a loss, there is an epidemic of blocked chakras. Recently I received an earnest plea from a client who felt she needed to open the Heart Chakra, but despite all her work on it, it simply refused to open. Here is my reply:

"It is true that the heart has a mind of its own, and when it is afraid, you can't simply reason with it to make it open again. That is why healing work to release the fear and pain from old losses is absolutely necessary. Approach the heart with empathy and loving kindness, talk with it as you would with a sorrowful, frightened child who had been through a lot, and let the pain and grief come up to be released. Witness the process with tenderness toward that part of yourself.

"You seem, however, to have a misconception, and though it is shared by all too many people in this heart-wounded society of ours, it can get in the way of willingness to be healed. The misconception is that working to open the heart is for the sole purpose of finding a mate. While the heart can open powerfully when you do fall in love, there is no point in waiting around to hit the love lottery, for an open Heart Chakra can bring you more joy on a daily basis.

"That chakra is the part of the energy body that gives and receives love with all beings, not just a partner. To the extent that it is closed, you do not allow yourself to share love with others and therefore can live in ever-increasing isolation and alienation. Life becomes a cardboard cutout, and I don't think happiness is possible without a healthy heart center. The mind alone cannot create happiness.

"I don't have a partner at this time either, but I work very hard to keep the heart energy balanced and flowing so that my life can hold loving connections that feed and nourish me and those I those whose lives I touch. You can tell when the heart is open, as there is an outward rush of energy toward the being you are having feelings about. That's what someone is really describing when they say, "My heart went out to her."

"I am currently in love with:
1) A spunky little mixed-race neighbor who at the age of three already has more presence than most people could dream of.
2) A wickedly-funny old family friend back in Iowa who gets more senile each time I call, but who recalls my beloved grandmother vividly.
3) My mentor from my early days in astrology whom I recently re-found and who is just as wise and exuberant as when he encouraged my writing career 40 years ago.
4) A buddy who teases me mercilessly but who hasn't actually got a mean bone in her body. She only teases those she loves, and thus gives me the gift of laughing at myself.
5) A sweet but very skittish little cat in my apartment complex who is already a mother at six months and whose owner still doesn't see fit to alter her.
6) A majestic giant red cedar that I pass daily on the way to the post office.
7) My loving and compassionate Buddhist monk spirit guides who tweak me about being a bullshit Buddhist.
8) Anderson Cooper on CNN for his purity and commitment to humanity.

"And so it goes. The heart center is about so much more than finding a man. We can do without a partner if we must, but we cannot really do without loving connections with other human beings. In fact, it is exactly when the heart does not form these connections and isolation sets in that partnership is fraught with peril, for we look to that one person to fill the aching void in the heart center.

"The relationship becomes so life or death then that we are likely to bury our real selves in it, and cling to the other in a suffocating manner that ultimately strangles the partnership. When the beloved has no room to breathe and becomes burdened with rescuing one from isolation, it sets up a dynamic where the other has to leave the relationship in order to have the self back. We cannot realistically expect one person to fill all our needs, especially the need for love. We get different things from each person we connect with meaningfully, and an open heart center is what allows those connections to form.

"Lacking love, we may turn to material possessions, trying to make work fill the void, or to addictions of the myriad types out there. None of these tactics can succeed, so many of us are left with emptiness. Opening the heart center -- and being observant about when it shuts down again so you can re-energize it -- is a key to more joy and connectedness."

I use essences gathered by a variety of companies, and each has a few which are helpful with heart center problems -- that is, difficulties in giving and receiving love due to losses, rejections, or patterns and beliefs about love learned in early childhood. The following are some that have proven especially helpful for my clients.

Heart wounds caused by important losses or rejections need to be cleansed and healed, as the heart center may shut down under such circumstances. Bleeding Heart, by the Flower Essence Society (FES), has a powerful cathartic effect and eases the pain of these wounds. Heart's Ease, by Harebell, is a gentle solace and comfort for the broken heart. (In the U.S., this sweet little pansy-like flower is called Johnny Jumpups.) Helleborus by Pegasus helps with depression from a broken romance, and their Bittersweet heals grief. Where the need to forgive is part of the problem, the Alaskan Mountain Wormwood is an important remedy. Energy work, such as MariEL, Reiki, or Touch for Health, is also valuable in clearing out blockages and getting the heart energy going again.

Losses and rejections can impair one's ability to receive love as well, but this pattern may also start in childhood. Dysfunctional family patterns may never have given the child a feeling of love-worthiness, or may have even made the child feel that love had too high a cost, so it became frightening to accept. The Alaskan Alpine Azalea helps open the heart to the spirit of love and increases the capacity for self-love. Dogwood, by FES, is quite a lovely remedy, bringing a capacity for gentleness and grace in relationships, and their Mariposa Lily increases receptivity to human love, healing the feeling of alienation, separation, and being unloved.

Fear of intimacy, on an emotional as well as a sexual level, is a major barrier to committed relationships. It takes on many painful disguises, from addiction, to attraction to unavailable people, all the way to religious convictions about sex. Sticky Monkeyflower, by FES, is a very important remedy for those who are afraid of intimacy. It is also described in their literature as helpful for blocks to intimacy due to unresolved pain about past relationships. Where the fear is caused by traumatic events, Bach's Star of Bethlehem may be needed for a considerable period of time to release remnants of shock from the energy field.

On an inner level, people recognize that flowers affect the heart. When someone brings you flowers, they do it to express and inspire love. In a bit of gentle sympathetic magic, the open blossoms are a plea for the heart to open up to the giver. If the mere presence of flowers can affect the Heart Chakra, flower essences have an even more profound and lasting effect. It may take persistent attention, but you will find that keeping the heart open enriches your life and the lives of people around you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Donna Cunningham, MSW, has a master's degree in social work and many years of counseling experience. She is the co-editor of Vibration and a long-time educator and writer in the fields of astrology and flower remedies. She has written 17 books on metaphysical topics and has columns in each issue of Dell Horoscope Magazine and The Mountain Astrologer. To see her ebooks, visit Moon Maven Publications. Go to her Frequent Contributor Page

DESIGN CREDITS: The pendant this border is based on and the cameo pendant with Johnny jumpups were created by Vibration's Editor, Deborah Bier. You can see more at Spiralbeading.com. Other art from Clipart.com.

This page is a creation of Donna Cunningham's Word of Mouth Web Design, a service that specializes in creating beautiful and unique sites to showcase the gifts of lightworkers, artists, astrologers, and practitioners of the healing arts. Graphic images from Photos.com.

The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.

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