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 Editors' Note: The following is an excerpt from Donna's ebook, Counseling Principles for Astrologers,
just out from Moon Maven Publications. Though the book is meant for professional astrologers and astrologers in training, most of the material is equally applicable to flower essence practitioners, life coaches, and other alternative healing arts.
We don't come to client work as a blank slate. We bring our total life history along, and so we look at the client through our own personal lens. That background almost inevitably colors what we see in the chart and in the client, so it strongly influences what we say to clients and how objective we are able to be. Each person we encounter in any meaningful way evokes thoughts, values, beliefs, and emotions that are already formed, based on past experiences. Some experiences have enriched us and given us wisdom and strength to offer. Other experiences, however, may have been painful and difficult, leaving emotional residues that are evoked when clients' situations mirror our own. Perhaps in the initial phone call, as you and the client discuss what the session will cover and set your contract, it becomes clear that the client's current situation mirrors troublesome parts of your own past or present.
You would know, then, that special mental preparation and watchfulness will be needed in order for you to remain objective during that particular session. When we are not conscious that a piece of our past is being evoked, we might revert to old -- and not entirely healthy -- defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from the pain.
One typical defense is to believe we now have THE ANSWER to that particular kind of difficulty, and in order to maintain that defense, we might urge clients to adopt similar strategies in coping with their own difficulties. It is a personal and professional responsibility to be aware of the impact of the past on ourselves in the present, and to work on healing the parts that still give us pain or that set off strong emotions. Still, healing takes time and commitment. It cannot be achieved by mere insight, for there are multiple layers to address that include not just the mind but the body and spirit. Most of us cannot postpone our professional careers until we achieve some abstract ideal of mental health. We can, however, come to know the times when our own past experiences are most likely to interfere with remaining objective during a session. We can then be aware that special vigilance is advisable so that we don't contaminate the session with our own emotional responses, defenses, hang-ups, or needs. To help us remain alert to times like those, here are some questions to ask ourselves on a regular basis:
Suppose that your own romantic relationships have consistently ended in ugly meltdowns -- and, try as you might, you can't help but view clients' romantic possibilities in the same jaundiced light as your own and to give advice that reflects your own wounding rather than being able to be objective. If that were so, you might consider eliminating this specialty from your practice altogether. Instead, you could target your marketing to draw in clients who want help in areas of life where you have been successful and fulfilled -- that is, where you have something of unique value to contribute. You may be surprised that a decision of this nature, rather than reducing the size of your practice, actually makes it far more successful in the long run. It capitalizes on your strengths and magnetically attracts clients who need what you have to offer.
You may wonder why I am asking you to consider questions of this nature. This sort of ongoing self-examination is a major feature of the professional training any counselor undergoes. No matter how much we may wish to deny it, we ARE inescapably doing a form of counseling whenever we work with clients. Therefore, it is important that -- like other counselors -- we continually observe ourselves and our responses to the concerns clients present in astrological consultations. We don't want to bring our own emotional baggage into the work we do with clients -- we want to keep the work clean.
The discipline of evaluating the effectiveness of each session afterwards through asking ourselves questions like those above pays off handsomely. It is how we alert ourselves to our own reactions to clients and to the ways our own history may be affecting those responses, whether positively or negatively. By becoming aware of times when such factors come up and trigger our own emotional residues that interfere with our effectiveness, we can correct such errors. Since our relationships with our clients are not entirely unlike other important relationships in our lives, we may even gain insight into ways that all our relationships could improve. Though self-questioning can be painful at times, it empowers us to do better and better work in our practice. And the better the work is, the more helpful we will be to clients, the better we will feel about ourselves, and the more successful we are likely to be. Foremost, I would recommend Black-Eyed Susan by the Flower Essence Society, as it gives penetrating insight into all aspects of the self, including the Shadow side and other aspects we deny because we find them unacceptable. Their Sunflower, taken over time, gives self-esteem balanced with humility and appreciation of others' worth. Alaskan Flower Essence Project's Alpine Azalea is for unconditional love and acceptance of oneself and others. Among the offerings by Bach and Healing Herbs, Chestnut Bud helps us to recognize unwanted patterns and learn from them, Beech helps us give up judgments of others, and Water Violet can help us let go of those places where we secretly feel superior to others we judge not as wise or capable as ourselves.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Donna Cunningham, MSW, has a master's degree in social work and many years of counseling experience. She is the co-editor of Vibration and a long-time educator and writer in the fields of astrology and flower remedies. She has written 17 books on metaphysical topics and has columns in each issue of Dell Horoscope Magazine and The Mountain Astrologer. To see her ebooks, visit Moon Maven Publications. DESIGN CREDITS: The jewelry this border is based on was created by Vibration's Editor, Deborah Bier. You can see more at: Spiralbeading.com. Other art from Clipart.com.
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If these seem like meaty questions to you, you may wish to print them out and keep them with the other tools you regularly use when working with clients. As you consistently ask yourself questions like these, you may become aware of areas where emotional residues are regularly triggered by listening to clients with similar situations, and you may wish to address those residues with a variety of healing methods. If the wounding you suffered -- let's say in a particularly agonizing divorce -- is still too painful, it is likely to contaminate your advice to clients in similar situations. Then you might make a conscious decision to refer people with that type of problem to a colleague whose relationships are healthy and happy.
Given the centuries-old spiritual traditions of India, it is not too surprising to find particularly useful offerings among the Aditi Himalaya Essences, mostly based on flowers native to the region. White Coral is for seekers who become dogmatic about their beliefs and critical of others who don't follow them, by broadening their understanding and helping them become more flexible and loving. Red Silk Cotton is important for the New Age seeker, transforming and cleansing their intentions when a subconscious desire for spiritual power and glory creeps in. The related Yellow Silk Cotton brings a pure, clear will to do God's will selflessly, humbly, and without the desire for spiritual power over others. And, naturally, their Lotus is a superb spiritual elixir, also recommended as a toner and amplifier in most remedy mixtures.