Deeper Healing Through Releasing Grief
©2008 by Bobbi Gay, Life Coach and Maker of Lightseed Essences
Unexpressed grief can cause both physical and emotional symptoms. We are meant to live in an open-hearted stance, and yet many of us carry the wounds of our childhood in our energy system. The open heart brings meaning and purpose to the process of life. In order to adopt a more trusting stance with the world, some of us need to first flush congested emotional energy from the heart area.
Symptoms associated with repressed grief include depression, fatigue, loss of meaning, a lump in the throat, teariness that lingers with no sense of release, sadness, relationship issues especially around loss, inability to speak from the heart, trust issues, frustration with the level or quality of personal connections, sensations of sagging, heaviness, and stabbing in the heart area -- this is an actual sensing of the energetic condition in the heart.
Loss, anger, fear, and old pain can wind up lodged in the area of the heart. Loss in particular, and especially early loss, can cause a shutting down of the heart center. The heart center is vital to all relationships, including the relationship to Self. It is in the heart that we transform old attitudes and emotions.
Identifying and Letting Go of Your Grief
Grief is an emotion that can lodge in the body tissues and the spirit. Although we usually think of grief as having to do with the loss of a loved one or something highly valued like a job, grief can take less recognizable forms. Some common underlying sources of grief are mourning of one's own lost childhood, mourning a lost opportunity, mourning the loss of good health and mourning the loss of innocence. One thing that is worth noting is that it is possible to hold grief for something one never actually possessed, but longed for. Long after the causative event that lodged, grief still exacts a price.
Grief can affect those who carry it in several ways. It causes the heart to be shut down and removed from life. This has a negative impact on relationships. Deep internal sadness prevents healthy empathetic connection. It also reduces the capacity to enjoy life, and can result in depression. In addition it robs motivation and well-being. Many people report that its effects, sometimes only recognized in retrospect, are exhausting. Deepak Chopra talks about how grief and asbestos can both affect the body in similar ways at the quantum level. It is literally a heavy dense energy held in the heart, lungs, and ribs.
If you recognize that you are holding grief, there is much you can do. First you can try lying down and gently relaxing.
Then focus on the physical region of the chest. Notice how the heart feels. Is it heavy or light? Does it feel intact?
Is part of it sagging or feeling thick and tired? Notice as you tune in what feelings and issues surface. Pay attention
to any memories that come up for you. Notice themes that might unify emerging information. Ask your inner being
to help in this process.
This process will often stimulate emotion to start moving. People often get stuck in grief because they feel they have already cried enough. Yet sometimes deep grief is expressed in wracking sobs that originate in the solar plexus region. It's as if the deepest expression of it allows for release, and milder expressions may actual keep emotion stuck and recycling. The deeper releases come more easily when breath is involved. Breathing deeply in and out without a pause between the in and the out will often flush the feelings.
There are several aids to this process that can be employed. The first is to simply put a small, hard pillow between the shoulder blades and feel the pressure gently opening the chest from behind as you lie on the floor. Carrying or wearing rose quartz, especially over the heart, might also assist this process. You can purchase rose quartz cheaply at most new age or rock shops. A final note is that in our culture, tissues have become a subtle cue that shuts down the process of weeping. It's best not to resort to tissues until the release is well under way.
Grief Relief Blend and the Process of Healing Grief
Our Grief Relief Blend of flower essences stirs up and flushes old grief from the heart area. This emergence of old feeling may be associated with a memory of a wounding. Grief Relief Blend is a carefully blended formula that is ideal to be taken over a period of time, or only when working specifically with these feelings. This releases the congested emotional energy that really comprises the block.
If themes or memories do come up, it's best to adopt the attitude that what comes up is relevant to your life as well
as to your grief. Themes often tell us where we are stuck. If for example, a theme is feeling abused by others, consider what
might change that pattern. It might be recognizing that others are reflecting your own disregard for self or
it might mean you need to take better care of yourself when it comes to setting boundaries.
Sometimes self-forgiveness is what is called for; this is particularly common around death and loss. Guilt about unfinished business can easily result in grief. If you can learn the lesson, you will be less likely to repeat the same pattern, the grief will be less likely to lodge, and negatively impact you again.
If flower essences are used for a period of time they may cause teariness to spontaneous erupt throughout
your day and week. It is best not to try to stop the process. One way to assist the process is to avoid suppressing sound.
Another is to notice how you tighten the throat and eyes in order to suppress emotional expression of grief.
This can be reversed by softening the tense parts and allowing gasps, strangled sounds or whatever needs to move.
The deepest kinds of grief have a wracking quality and are accompanied by a wailing sound.
Whenever releasing it pays to breathe, allow, express and let go.
For those who want to address heart issues more fully, we created the Heartsease Kit. This kit has a blend for flushing, one for opening the heart gently, and one for learning how to speak from the heart. This kit would be very useful for the motivated individual who knows they need to work with the heart.
What Healing Grief Can Do for You
A powerful release of grief can change your whole viewpoint. You might feel lighter, freer, more optimistic and
loving. That is because the heart freed from constriction can energetically open again. That kind of opening is
characterized by feelings of well-being, connectedness and wholeness. All of the tools mentioned in this piece
are available at Lightseed Essences. May you find your own grief relief!
SPECIAL DISCLAIMER: In addition to the disclaimer we always print at the bottom of each page,
for the articles in this special issue, Vibration's editors wish to remind you that in severe cases of
emotional wounding, care by licensed medical and mental health care professionals may be required. Flower essence healing
is a helpful adjunct to wholistic care, not a magic bullet!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Bobbi Gay of Lightseed Essences
is trained in more than half a dozen alternative methods of
healing and personal growth. For 12 years she has been coaching and working intimately with people who are letting
go of stuck emotion. Her website, The Self-Empowerment Center, is dedicated to helping people to empower themselves
and heal. All of the tools mentioned above and many more are available at the Self Empowerment Center.
You can reach Bobbi by email at
ART CREDITS: Page designed by Windfall. Images courtesy of Clipart.com.
The World Wide Essence Society does not mean to imply any recommendation of nor give certification to any individuals or companies above. This article is provided purely for informational purposes. We ask consumers to make their own determination as to quality of the services and products offered above. This article is not meant to be advice, and the information is not meant to replace medical or psychological treatment.